I will be starting to shoot a short film later this summer and I just wanted to get some feedback on my ideas so far. Feel free to be brutal and add/help me out with ideas!
Opening shot: Young girl (18-20 y/o) sleeping
cut to a shot of her sleeping in a forrest, barefoot, wearing an all white dress. She startles awake and begins to walk. She seems to be going somewhere with a purpose. (need some ideas to make this portion interesting) Later on we see a mark on a tree, she runs her fingers over it and it seems familiar. She then begins to start moving faster and throughout the film she has gotten progressively dirtier. The music then gets more suspenseful and then we see a tight shot of her face being glad, as though she has found what she is looking for. Next shot we cut back to her sleeping and a smile slowly trickles across her face. END
So what do you think? Is it boring? Is it stupid to leave what she is looking for up to the viewers imagination? Any ideas as to ways to make it more interesting? Any other criticism would be great.
Oh and btw it will be less than 5 minutes long.