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Tuesday, December 7th, 2010

Beautiful People Save The Day! Again.

Chris Pine

Chris Pine = HERO

After seeing Tony Scott’s straightforward, yet thoroughly entertaining suspense/action film Unstoppable, I’m struck with how different the film would have been if one simple change had been made—if they had switched out the actor playing hero conductor Will Colson, (Chris Pine), with the actor playing bungling hostler Dewey, (Ethan Suplee).  I’m not giving anything away to tell you that Pine, who was the epitome of 70’s macho in Bottle Shock and the epitome futuristic macho in the recent Star Trek, is a very attractive actor, and that Ethan Suplee is…not so much of one, (in fact, Suplee is kind of a schlub).  I have to imagine, though, that since this film was “inspired by true events,” it is very likely that the real Will Colson could have looked much like schlubby Suplee.

Ethan Suplee

Ethan Suplee = SCHLUB

And what about our other hero, engineer Frank Barnes, played by venerable (and handsome) actor Denzel Washington?  Here, it’s a bit easier to swallow, since Washington is in his mid-50’s and has put on some useful “regular guy” lb’s.  But still, did both his daughters have to be Playboy-hot?  What was the point of that?  And while it’s completely plausible that an attractive guy like Pine’s character would be married to an attractive woman like actress Jessy Schram, it’s nearly impossible to imagine that yardmaster character Connie Hooper’s real-life counterpart looked anything remotely like super-fine hottie Rosario Dawson.

So what’s going on here?  Why is it we always have to see pretty people doing all the heavy lifting in these movies?  Why are our heroes always so damned attractive?  What does it say about us as a society? Anything useful?  I wondered this as I started to contemplate Chris Pine and Ethan Suplee switching characters.  Would I have enjoyed seeing Suplee save the day? Honestly?

Probably not so much.

Written by NoBudgetFilmSchool on 12/07 at 01:18 AM